Hey everyone!! Hows it going? Sometimes when I am writing I almost wish I could be having a conversation with each and everyone of you face to face to see your reactions, to hear your feedback. Almost like a live stream video, but when I am watching those it seems hard to not get distracted by all the comments. So for now this blog will do. But I still have BIG plans for this blog here in the future. This week has been crazy in all my emotions seem to be running high and not necessarily in a bad way. I am however officially working on writing my first book and I am finding making your mind go back through the hard times of your childhood, or life in general can be emotionally draining. Thinking about the things you lived through and seeing it in your adult eyes now is somewhat shocking in itself. But I was told something today that really got me pumped about having to relive and open up some of those harder moments, is to think about it as therapy. Right! The skies the limit to what my first book can and will be about, so why not think of those harder moments as good rounded therapy, instead of opening of a raw wound.
I use the skies the limit phrase because I am also working on a spark talk audition for work and coming up with a topic to talk about for 20 mins has seemed daunting to me. It seems I can write all day everyday, but talking and speaking in front of people without a script seems terrifying. I have said it many times it is the things that take us out of our comfort zone that allow us to grow, so me signing up for something I am not necessarily a pro at will only allow me to practice and get better at a true fear I have within myself. It’s funny because as children we are taught and told we can be whatever it is we want when we grow up? I know I tell my son that even now. So when in the growing up process does that change why as a teenager, or even a young adult do we stop reaching for the stars. Money, Caring what others think, Following someones else direction other than our own, are a few reasons I can think of. Then what’s even more crazy we find ourselves in relationships, marriage, with kids of our own and all of a sudden the skies the limit when we hit a mid life crisis. At some point we realize wait we are the only ones who have held ourselves back this entire time. I know for me I never felt ready or equipped to take on such big dreams. Success you guys does not come to those who remain safe in their walk in life, success comes from taking the risk and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations.
Listen you guys I can’t say 100% I am equipped and ready now to take on my big dreams for myself but you know what here I am. I am doing everything I can to be prepared, to stay focused with my thoughts and my writings, and most of all to succeed. To stay true to my time lines, I am also working hard at not setting to many baby goals where I drown in those goals for too long and never achieve the big ones. I am learning time management and organization on a whole new level while also including some self care in my plans, so I don’t get burnt out within weeks. When I was younger I set expectations of myself that were unattainable, they were not even my own expectations but they were expectations that I knew other people thought I should be. In turn of me not meeting those expectations examples: Graduating college in 4 years, having a successful first marriage, Having a career and getting fired. I took those failures rather hard. I allowed for myself to be stuck in how much of a failure I really was. But looking back I was not a failure, I just had unrealistic goals set for myself. So I was and I am determined to be better. I know I can be better.
This is why I am sharing my story with you all. I know personal development is a hard journey and everyone who does it will tell you its a life long experience. But I also see and feel the fire inside myself that has been ignited since accepting this is what I am going to do for myself, my family and even the community of people who can resonate with me. You guys if your reading this and think I will never be on this girl’s level, I am never going to write a book, I am never going to stand up and speak in front of thousands of people cause that is just not me. Well I am here to write to you and tell you when I was a child I thought of big dreams like mine and there was a time I didn’t think I was capable of fulfilling these dreams either. God works inside you when you allow and let him in. None of my words, my story, my strength would be here on the internet and shortly on paper in a book if it wasn’t for me letting go and letting god in. We all have BIG Dreams! The skies the limit you guys, only you can hold yourself back from achieving greatness. #Thisismedoinglife #Officiallywritingmyfirstbook #2019willbeamazing