Hey my readers!!! First off this writer/ published author is back from my hiatus. Yes you read that right, Published author is a real thing!! This past month Amazon would be the first retailer to publish my first book on paperback as well as an e-book. In all honestly my hiatus was due to my pregnancy it ended up being really rough on my mindset and my physical body this time around. Things really got serious though last month when I went into pre-term labor at 32 weeks. Keeping our baby girl safe was my top priority, so everything else needed to fall to the way side and that included writing for a bit.
Our daughter Remi Sage made her entrance into the world June 7th 2019 at 4 lbs, 11 ounces, she was and still is so tiny. She was born at 33 weeks, 4 days and while it was scary at first to have a NICU baby we are beyond thrilled she is here with us. Being in and out of the hospital for not only myself but for miss Remi has once again shown myself and my family just how strong we are and how quick we can all work together when the going gets tough. All in all I am just so thrilled life is finally slowing down a bit and I am able to log onto a computer to finally write!!
Has anyone else ever felt trapped? Felt like the closet is closing in on you. This last month I sure have. My patience has been tested more than once this past month. My patience with hospital stays, my patience with becoming a mom of 2 kids, my patience with my husband. Be slow to anger has been and remained my motto and in order for me to stay true to my faith and my temper practicing gratitude in times where I just really want to lose my shit have helped me immensely. I didn’t realize how close I was to my breaking point until my husband and I were getting ready for a wedding and while looking for a nice shirt to wear my husband would literally have our closet bar and shelf fall on top of him and all our junk, clothes, important papers would be in a huge mess on the floor. I didn’t snap right then and place the blame on my husband, I didn’t even snap on the car ride taking my son to the sitters for the night. I would lose it and cry while on the car ride home alone by myself, I would lose it re-living such events as I explained laughing and crying what happened to my mom. Trust me I know now my reaction may have been over the top and a bit rational but my feelings in that moment were real and needed to be validated. I was not at all prepared to talk about it or try and explain these feelings to anyone else.
I recovered from the closet event, I decided to learn from this experience and what was it that I could have done differently to not be so sensitive and emotional that day. Then I was reminded I am only in control of “my happiness”. There I was that day wrapped up in all my emotions. Worrying about pumping and making enough milk for the baby. Worrying about my 6 year old and all the questions he had been asking lately about when will we move into our new house. I was worried about my husband and his well-being due to the fact I have been in and out of the hospital and doctor appointments lately not only for our newborn daughter but for myself, as I was possibly having another surgery any day. So yes in that moment when the closet came crashing down, so did my world and everyone in it. Reminding myself now after the storm has passed I am only in control of “my happiness” I realize my 6 year old is happy and healthy and daily watching how I handle life’s stressful situations. Our newborn is and will be just fine if my milk continues to struggle and we have to go to formula full-time. My husband did amazingly well handling the kids and the daily routine because only a few days after the closet incident I did go in for an emergency appendectomy surgery.
Life is funny how it all works out and seasons of hardships are temporary, as well as bad days are limited and numbered. As for my bad days and breakdowns they really do help to keep me grounded and staying humble. Speaking of remaining humble my first book This is me doing life is now out in the world. My book in the first month has sold over 150 copies and I am completely thrilled on the feedback and messages I have been getting from readers. Many thanks to all my readers on who have followed my blog this past year and my writing journey to get here.
I will be sending a signed book to one lucky guy or gal who posts a review on amazon. Just send me a screenshot either by e-mail or by Facebook Messenger showing proof your review was posted, I will enter your name into a drawing. Winners will be announced at the end of July. As always if you like my content please share my blog link, or a photo of you enjoying my book in your favorite quiet place or while on vacation. Thank you again for all your support and I can’t wait to get back into my routine where I can write, write, write. #Thisismedoinglife #Momof2 #Finishingtheyearoutstrong #Lovinglife #Workingongratitude