Good Morning Readers!!!
I seriously cannot believe it is October 15th! We close on our new home in 27 days and there is still so much to get done, but I have the utmost respect for our realtor who day after day and week after week has worked so hard on our behalf to make this pipe dream of ours a true reality! The morning while writing in my gratitude journal one of the things I was grateful for was strangers on the internet, Someone wrote these words today “Seek Peace and you will soar”. I was blown away once I read these words, because these words put perfectly together this way are so powerful.
Over the weekend we hung out with some friends and I don’t know about you but I have the hardest time speaking my words out loud. It is almost like my words can’t keep up with my thoughts or the thought happens to quickly and then what I wanted to say slips my mind, or comes out of my mouth incomplete. We were talking about life and why do most of us still struggle to find happiness day after day. Most of us have our basic needs met such as a roof over our head, warm clothes on our bodies and food in our bellies but still we struggle day after day to find happiness. We even take it a step further to say “yes we have a home, but it could be better”. or “yes we have transportation, but it’s not the car I even want to drive.” We also talked about how it has been proven people who live in 3rd world countries despite their circumstances and resources still remain abundantly happy, still remain in a state of gratitude everyday even if that means sleeping on dirt floor. But how can this be?? Then the morning it hit me with this “Seek Peace and you will Soar”.
I come from a long line of women in my family who all struggle with depression, anxiety and mental health problems and to some extent it is not anyone’s fault on why women in the family struggle with these issues, more so these behaviors had been passed down generation after generation and once I recognized what was happening, I started doing work to stop this cycle once and for all and instead highlight the positive behaviors. But this work did not come easy to me, I have had to do a lot of self reflection in the process to get my mindset to where it is today and this includes seeking peace, asking for forgiveness and understanding to my core just how truly gracious god’s love is for me and for everyone else. I speak about these truths in my book “This is me doing life”. Some of my truths were easier than others to speak and write about than others and while writing my book I knew and felt convicted to not hold back when it came to sharing how I was able to find healing with my past. If you have read my book you know as a teen I struggled, I struggled with my self image, I struggled with relationships, I struggled with my faith. I continuously put myself in bad situations.
All my bad decisions would lead me to end up as 15 and pregnant. I can remember it was one of the scariest days of my life, to see a positive pregnancy test. Even my closest friends now and at the time never even knew it was something I wrestled with all those years ago because honestly the whole incident was over just as quickly as I found out. I hid my pain of those days really well. I thought just because the pregnancy was aborted I could get “free pass” to start over. Reality check nothing would ever be the same for me. Not my relationship with my parents, not my relationship with the boy I was with at the time and more importantly not even the relationship I had with myself. I was so ashamed of the girl in the mirror. It wasn’t until my son was born in 2013 did all that pushed back shame really show all its colors. My whole pregnancy as an adult I felt anxiety, I felt guilt for even being given the gift of conceiving years later. Here was a time in life I was given full permission to be joyful about becoming a new mom and I still could not forgive myself for the past.
My son was 4 years old when I finally started to make some headway on finally getting over my fears and anxieties of speaking out about this topic. I could not understand why I struggled so bad with my anxiety, why at my core was I not feeling fulfilled? Something had to give. It wasn’t until I started a devotional experience called 100 Days to Brave. If you have never heard of this book, I have said it before in previous blog posts but I encourage you to look it up as this devotional experience truly changed my life. It did take me over the 100 days to complete, but once I did, man the spark and transformation in my soul that happened I was finally able to open up and truly see life for what it was and what I had been through. I was able to forgive my 15 year old self. I was able to find true joy and acceptance within my faith and soon I was bound and determined to share my testimony with the entire world because I know I am not the only one who struggled with these insecurities of myself.
My book has been out for four months now and while I had prepared my heart for the worst responses, I have been pleasantly surprised by the love and support from everyone who has read my book and wrote a review. I said from the beginning even if my book only helped one person, then it was worth writing. My book has now been purchased by over 750 readers, I never in a million years would have guessed my testimony could have impacted and related with so many people. I am extremely humbled by all the love and support you guys continue to show me everyday. I know this blog post was long but I am serious you guys it is only when we truly seek peace will we soar!! So, I encourage my readers what issues in your past do you need to seek peace with? What past life experiences do you need to let go, to be completely free and at peace with yourself. It’s important we recognize that asking for help is not a bad thing, starting a personal development journey does not make you weak. As I am learning in real time your story is important. Your story means something to someone. So what’s keeping you from taking the first step in putting in the work to better yourself?
As always if you love my writings please share my blog link on your social media pages. I love to hear from my readers and the comment feed is always open, not just on this post but on all my previous blog posts. The book and swag giveaway is still going as I want to send two of my readers a signed copy of my book “This is me doing life” as well as a personalized bookmark. How you can win, post a comment on one of my blogs and share with me how my writings inspired you. Did you actually work through something I wrote. Happy Tuesday!! Day 15 in our 90 days challenge. How will you end this decade?#RemembranceDay #PregnancyandInfantLoss #October15th